sauntervaguelydownwards | 02 🍎 The sugar plums are rancid

[There is a row of poinsettias on Crowley’s windowsill, splashes of stark white and red. He waters them, seemingly satisfied despite his awful sweater. Once he’s finished watering the plants he hisses at them in pleasure, voice barely audible:] That’s what you get as long as you’re good. But watch: the second one of your friends starts to slip… But you’d never do that, would you?

[He greets the camera with a smile, a wave, and a brief cheery message.] By my count we had violence, corruption, manipulation, greed, fanatical loyalty, and snow. That couldn't have been more Christmassy if there were pregnant virgins around.

Happy holidays. Up all of yours.

[Christmas list]
Everyone: Penis enlargement pills for anyone without a penis, herbal breast enhancement pills for anyone without breasts. For those who have neither or both… pregnancy vitamins. Make sure they’re all clearly marked.
Loki: a diary with purple ponies, sparkles, and rainbows on the cover.
Vergil: A suitable coat to make up for that furry one.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

whatthefoxsay

[Kira makes a face.]

Gross, Anthony.

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

Don't blame me, blame the Bible.

From:

whatthefoxsay

Come on, it's not like you don't have free well.

[She likes you better when you're charming, Crowley. Obviously.]

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

Sure. It's not like that.

[Rub it in, Kira. Rub it in.]

From:

whatthefoxsay

Well, even if it wasn't, could I trust you not to lie about it?

[Kira doesn't have a lot of patience with jerks, so she doesn't know why she's bothering with you, Crowley.]

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

Serious question?

From:

walkthedarkpath

[ He actually gets the sound of the laughter he had to get used to in the flood. The real version though has no humor in his eyes.]

Comical, but fitting. [ His voice is much colder, but the face and hair color are very much the same.]

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

[That being Crowley's first breach, he needs a second to register this Vergil against the one he knew before.]

The jumper, you mean? Goes nicely over my scales.

From:

walkthedarkpath

The pregnant virgins, but the jumper is amusing as well.

So, you are truely a snake I see.

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

Ah, can't take credit for that. It's the Holy Spirit's little joke, not mine.

Yes. I'm that unusual type with arms and legs.

From:

walkthedarkpath

There is nothing holy about the Admiral. I am sure he is one of my own. A demon, be it a very powerful one.

So I am seeing, the hiss is a dead give away.

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

Please. A demon, pushing people toward redemption? That doesn't seem a little unlikely to you?

I'll try to keep an eye on that.

From:

walkthedarkpath

Not really. I know of a demon who saved the whole of the human race for nothing in return. Whats a little redemption affer that?

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

Really? [He sounds dubious.] And who would that be?

From:

walkthedarkpath

The Dark Knight Sparda.

[ he spoke very seriously.]

My father.

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

Mmn. [So Vergil's a demon by origin, not a Fallen Angel. Crowley nonchalantly lights a cigarette, swallowing the urge to ask if that isn't a comic book.]

What'd they do to him?

From:

walkthedarkpath

[ Sadly hes never heard of Batman and its a bloody shame]

Nothing, they never defeated him. He died in his quest to save humanity, it took all of his power to seal the door to the demon world.

[ he can still remember how much it broke his heart watching his father ride away the last time he saw him. but none of that shows on his face.]

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

So he was a hero. Would you say the Admiral is too?

[Crowley's 100% certain that the Admiral is not a demon; he never would've taken this job if he suspected otherwise.

Plus he can smoke here. That proves it isn't Hell.</small]

From:

walkthedarkpath

Most would say so, about my father that is. The Admiral however is a bastard, I would not call him that at all. I simply know no other creature with such high power as the Admiral but demons.

[ Vergils judging that cigarette, but not enough to care.]

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

What about an angel? You're looking for a real self-assured bastard, you look up.

[Not an angel either, he's pretty sure.]

From:

walkthedarkpath

I have never witnessed proof of angels in my world. I am not denying they exist they are simply outside my realm of knowledge.

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

But you just said you were a demon.

From:

walkthedarkpath

By mythology one must be if the other is. However, that is no so where I am from. There is no sign of a superior god, not angels. Simply us Demons and Devils over the humans and witches.

They may have been at some point but no more.

From:

sauntervaguelydownwards

You ever heard that saying, The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist? [He exhales slowly, smoke curling out the corner of his mouth.] Sounds like God did the same thing in your world.