01 🍎 Pleased to meet you; hope you guessed my name

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

[Video]
[It’s a new face, but a transmission that’s been made scores of times. This time the speaker is a dark-haired young man with great cheekbones, wearing sunglasses and a bewildered expression. He’s standing on the deck a healthy distance from the chapel, and when he speaks his voice is British, clipped, and dry.]

All right, when’s the next stop? I want to get off. Getting shanghaied onto Twilight Zone Cruise Lines is bad enough, but the maniacal holiday displays and the church are starting to make me nervous. I am not sitting through a Christmas sermon or anyone’s rendition of “Away in a Manger.”


[Deck/Greenhouse spam]
[Crowley had mostly been blowing hot air on the network; in truth the decorations delight him. They spark up an idea, and as soon as it flashes through his mind it takes hold and he knows he has to do it – it’s too tempting. There are cut trees everywhere, and a Greenhouse.

A smirk grows on his lips.

He wrestles an especially bright small tree through the Greenhouse door, dragging it to a spot directly in front of an array of orchids.] Pretty, hmm? [he asks the plants around him. He enjoys talking to – or rather threatening – greenery.] So shiny and delicate. Enjoy it, take a good look. [He tipped the tree, letting the water from the stand drain out.] Someday, this might be you.

Comments

[orderfromchaos]

It's not much of a church, if that's any consolation.

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

So no obnoxious Nativity scenes, then? No horrible choirs singing about harking herald angels?

[orderfromchaos]

I don't think we could cooperate long enough to a get a choir together, to be honest.

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

No religious ritual of any kind?

[strangehistorian]

The ship comes into port every two and a half months, on average!

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

Great. When's the next one?

[strangehistorian]

It is difficult to say! Unfortunately, ports are not an opportunity to leave.

[Video]

[tricksandmischief]

It seems they make very frequent pick-ups and not so many are let leave.

At least, not until they have done what they wanted with you.

[Video]

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

Ah, so it's a greedy kidnapping cruise line. Well, that's excellent.

That sounds sexier than I think you meant.

[Video]

[tricksandmischief]

Only if you consider redemption to be 'sexy'.

video

[isahumanbeing]

[Not even bothering to look up what what he's doing when he replies.]

You can get off next stop; you'll wake right back up in your cabin when we leave.

Oh, and don't touch any Christmas jumpers. Welcome aboard.

video

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

Why would I want to touch a Christmas jumper?

video

[isahumanbeing]

[He smirks because oh he could be a dick] Well, you can touch one and find out.

Or just believe me when I say you will be infected with Holiday Cheer against your will.

[to_dust]

[Looks a bit like a rugby player crossed with an alligator by way of a chameleon: sounds as British as Crowley, but with a distinct flavor of Mummy-bought-me-a-pony public-school boy.]

Oh, please don't mention singing. You'll put the idea in someone's head.

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

[...Well. You don't see that every day. Crowley quirks an eyebrow at C'rizz, pulling a cigarette from his breast pocket and sparking it with a vintage lighter.]

You're right, no more of that. I wouldn't want to inspire it.

[to_dust]

Much obliged. I couldn't carry a tune if you put a handle on it.

I'm sorry, I ought to have welcomed you aboard. It's not as bad as all that, being an inmate-- dreadful bits, but the good bits make up for it, I find.

spam; I adore you for this

[heavenlymisandrist]

[ She may not be working in the greenhouse anymore, but Ceres still enjoys visiting from time to time. She's always been fond of flowers. So she's a little concerned when somebody seems to be accosting the orchids. ]

What are you doing?

spam; thank you for saving the flowers ;;

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

[Crowley stops midway through draining the tree and quickly sets it upright, feeling rather like someone just walked in on him dancing in his underwear.]

Just some gardening, some redecoration. These things really ought to stay in here, don't you think?

spam;

[heavenlymisandrist]

[ She eyes the potted tree suspiciously. It's obvious that it's one of the Admiral's decorations. ]

They cannot go here. Orchids need their own space.

[changeitroundsome]

[Facilier needs the plantlife in the greenhouse for his spells and gris-gris, so he often heads up there to take cuttings and the like. This is a very...odd sight, however, and he pauses in his work to observe what he assumes is some sort of strange plant abuse.

He sounds amused at least, chuckling softly.]

Whatever did it do to you?

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

[Crowley stands up straight, shaking off the awkwardness of being caught torturing a cut tree and giving Facilier an easy smirk.]

It's committed the crime of gaudiness. It deserves to be punished.

[changeitroundsome]

[Facilier arches one slender eyebrow.]

Pretty sure it ain't gonna repeat that mistake.

[punched_hitler]

No one's making you go to church.

But getting off at the next stop wouldn't do you much good. You'll end up right back on when we leave.

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

Damn right they're not.

Yes, yes, I've heard. Pocket dimension.

[punched_hitler]

Although it's not so much a church as a place anybody can go, I think.

Something like that, I guess, yeah. This'd be my first experience with one.