sauntervaguelydownwards | 02 🍎 The sugar plums are rancid

[There is a row of poinsettias on Crowley’s windowsill, splashes of stark white and red. He waters them, seemingly satisfied despite his awful sweater. Once he’s finished watering the plants he hisses at them in pleasure, voice barely audible:] That’s what you get as long as you’re good. But watch: the second one of your friends starts to slip… But you’d never do that, would you?

[He greets the camera with a smile, a wave, and a brief cheery message.] By my count we had violence, corruption, manipulation, greed, fanatical loyalty, and snow. That couldn't have been more Christmassy if there were pregnant virgins around.

Happy holidays. Up all of yours.

[Christmas list]
Everyone: Penis enlargement pills for anyone without a penis, herbal breast enhancement pills for anyone without breasts. For those who have neither or both… pregnancy vitamins. Make sure they’re all clearly marked.
Loki: a diary with purple ponies, sparkles, and rainbows on the cover.
Vergil: A suitable coat to make up for that furry one.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No, that's Old Navy.

No, that would be humans. Though we can surely both agree Walmart is run by the truest of evils.

Of course. Everyone knows that.

So, you like Versace.

[ Everything else can wait.]

What what of Armani or McQueen?

Armani is overused but cuts a good figure. McQueen has good lines but tries too hard.

They do mix well together though, and make for a fine look if done right.

[ This is a man who gets all his shit tailored though.]

You have respectable views on this matter.

Edited 2014-12-24 23:24 (UTC)

They can, but it's a precarious balance between unremarkable and gaudy.

[Look at these GQ motherfuckers.]

That's what happens when you shop around.

But if done right it can turn heads in a grand way that no simple set of clothes can.

[ He tsked as if he is an expert at this, and he feels he totally is. ...and they so are GQ motherfuckers... Who let them on the barge? ]

Very good, well. I suppose this be where we start over. I am no Incubus, but my name is Vergil. And I do use it.

So you like to live dangerously.

Crowley. Pleasure.

What other what is there to live?

I would chatter more, but it seems I am late to somewhere I have promised to be. So, I will see you later I assume.

"In luxury" can be fun.

Audience with the Queen?

I would get bored, alas.

No, someone else. But equally as amusing. [ No its totally the queen. He's got a snow leopard to give a treat too, the queens just a bonus.]

Not if you keep yourself occupied.

Ooh? Who's amusing around here?

Sometimes that still gets boring.

Plenty of people, sorry Crowley, I never share where I go or who I see. Have fun hunting up amusement. [ he rolled his eyes playfully and cut his end of the feed,.]

02 🍎 The sugar plums are rancid

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